I feel like my dating life has become a bit like the Beatles song Hello, Goodbye.
I won't bore you with the lyrics, but if you haven't listened to it, you need to.
Basically, my favorite line is " You say, Goodbye and I say, Hello, Hello, Hello"
It just describes the disconnect in language between the people I'm trying to get to know and me.
Perfectly.
I'll be honest.
I've started a few of these and not published them.
I guess I keep hoping something will change, but it's always the same.
Hello. I like you. Good-bye.
Actually, it's not that simple, but you get the gist.
Some days I wonder if the dating dance is worth the effort, but that little voice inside keeps going – just one more time. Just one more time.
I think I need to create a dating game show and let you all pick for me.
Although, I'm afraid of what I'll end up with!
Don't get me wrong. I've met some fantastic people along the way, and each of them has their own exceptional qualities. But they never quite fit with mine.
Too commitment adverse.
Too pious.
Too busy.
To -fill in the appropriate adjective here.
However, I promised a dear friend I would manifest the positive, not the negative, this week. So, y'all are getting the best of the best.
Oooo!! Should I run it like the David Letterman top 10? (This may take a few posts, but I promise I'll get through them all)
Let's do it!
Drumroll and funky music, please!!
(You have to think this in an emcee voice, or you're not really my friend) Coming in at #10, the TV Star/I'm not fangirl enough. No joke. I'm on this site that seems a little more upscale than the rest, sans the dude who tried to get me to buy cryptocurrency, but scammers are for a whole other blog post this week.
I was a bit surprised on this one, but if anyone really knows me, this really isn't a super surprise because my world is just well – weird.
So, the dude shows up in my DMs and says, "Hey, how are you today? I'd love to chat." And of course, I'm like, OK. We're chatting off and on a bit, but it's not consistent, and well, sadly, I get bored without some kind of interaction. I asked him if he'd like to chat another time. And he comes back with, "sorry, we're doing 11-12 hour filming days, and I'm pretty wiped."
Um… what?
Him: Oh yeah, I have a show, and we're filming our specials right now.
Me: Oh. OK. What's the show, if you don't mind me asking?
Before we go any further, a) he looked familiar, but I've been on a bunch of sites throughout the years, so they all "kind of look familiar." Sorry guys. b) his profile says he has had this show for 13 years.
OBVIOUSLY, I missed that tiny detail when I glanced at his profile.
I'll give you a hint – they buy and sell used things, and he loves old things.
If you ask me 20 questions, I may answer, but it'll cost you $5 for every one you get wrong. So, ask wisely, my friend!
By this point, I'm thinking this is another damn scammer. Good Lord! Why have I become the scammer magnet? (See the Prince of Dubai parts 1 & 2 from my LinkedIn if you're wondering)
So, I play it up a bit and ask him more about the show, how it started, etc.
He plays along, but the typical scam words and actions that show up never do.
OK. Cool. Cool. (in my head, I'm like, WTF, dude…. I'm awesome, but I'm not a famous person awesome!)
We're going along pretty well. I'm trying to keep it cool, and you know, be normal, not an easy feat for me. It isn't. I've owned it, which is most likely killing my dating vibe. (If you know me personally, I'm awkward at the best of times, and I do deal with some pretty interesting folks in my day job. But come on…even YOU would be like OMG! Someone famous(ish) is interested in weird me!!!! <Insert ear-piercing high school girl squeal here>).
Yeah no.
I guess I wasn't gushy enough. I didn't praise him for his coolness factor or any of that other junk people usually do when they meet people who've had a modicum of fame because I said:
-Would you be interested in taking this off of here? I'm not great at responding on these things (I'm not. I suck at it if I'm honest with myself. See above – I. Get. Bored.), but I'd love to chat with you some more.
Him – (bet you can guess) crickets…. I seriously think he thinks I'm the scammer.
If I weren't so used to crickets, I would be slightly shocked that he thinks I'm a scammer!
(Seriously, I'm weird. How could I not be after years of this on and off?)
Either that or I didn't ask him for his autograph soon enough.
I think I'll go with that one for now.
If you've been reading this blog over the years, you know my reaction.
I think about it for a minute.
Think 'what the hell.'
Shrug my shoulders and go, OK, on to the next one.
Now the good friend who keeps telling me to think positive thoughts.
(Srsly…I feel like my dad is telling me to buck up and smile. Things will get better soon - as I have these massive crocodile tears running down my freckled cheeks.)
He has also told me to manifest what I want.
I'm worried. I may have tried to manifest on a few strong margs and a lot of F-it vibes.
So….if you're the guy who got those vibes from me.
Just ignore them.
I'm pretty sure my pickers broke, and you really don't want to end up in my top 10.
However, if you're the dude who can meet me at my daily weird, we're on! I'm waiting in my baby pool on my porch! Come find me!
To all my friends and family who put up with this crazy ride and stories – I love y'all, and I wish you good vibes and love forever and always. YOU PEOPLE ARE SAINTS, and buckle up! I'm on a roll now!!!
For the rest of you -welcome to my love life. It's a fun place to be.
For everyone else but me.
Now I have to go and pick #9.
So many choices.
So little time.
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